Saturday, March 3, 2012

Control and Painting

One of my goals was to paint a picture that I would be willing to hang.  Well, I'll tell you a story how of how there is currently a painting on my wall of my doing.  My girlfriends and I went to a wine and painting class together.  The idea of it was to enjoy each other's company drink some wine and play with paint.  The instructor gave a step by step process of how to make a predetermined painting.  Well, the painting that was predetermined had a very modern black tree branch with a black bird on it.  It terrified me.

I am no artist.  I am merely an adult stuck in the mind set of a child playing with her crayons.  I dabble with colors, I play with colored pencils, I experiment with oil pastels.  I like to mix colors and shade.  I don't like hard edges, I don't like lines.  I don't like precision when I dabble.  While I play with color like a child, I still have the awareness and control of an adult who doesn't like to make mistakes.  I am keenly aware of when my hand does not move the exact way that I want it to, when a line does not match exactly to what I am trying to mimic.  So, instead of causing myself anxiety when I play with crayon, I just purposefully avoid creating art that requires precision.  The painting that the class was teaching required lines, focus and precision.  No way was I going to attempt that, just seemed stressful!!

So, I started googling sunsets.  I wanted to paint something colorful and serene.  I found a really pretty tropical sunset that I wanted to attempt.  I started with my favorite color, purple and included bright colors like yellow, and orange.  I started to get into it.  When I felt like I made a mistake, I worked through it, I used other colors, I worked with it.  There was no perfection.  I worked with my flaws, I didn't see mistakes.  I let go of my control.  It was freeing.

It started off as an attempt to paint a tropical sunset, but ended up being a forest sunset, such as in Maine or Canada.  It happened because I was having painting a palm tree, but easily painted a pine tree.  In my life, I would have had big problems changing decisions that dramatically, but somehow in art I didn't have any problems.  Is there a lesson here to be learned? Uhhh?  I think so!


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